Life can feel pretty hopeless after experiencing pregnancy loss, so I decided to compile a short list of scripture verses that brought hope to me after my own loss(es).
I struggled in my decision to post this because part of me feels like reciting scripture to a loss mom can seem like nothing more than a platitude. It can feel similar to those general statements of “it was God’s will” or “God has a plan,” statements that loss moms so often hear, but that do little to actually bring comfort. While those things may actually be true, it leaves a woman wondering why this was God’s will for her life and not someone else’s.
But there is truth in scripture. While a loss mom may not get the answers that she is so desperately searching for, she can at least be given words of truth.
So, listed below are a few truths to bring some hope back into the loss mom’s life.
Psalm 139:13-16 “…You knit me together in my mother’s womb…My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in that secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
At first glance, this verse may not seem all that comforting. After all, it comes from a man whose days actually did “come to be,” while the loss mom’s baby did not experience future days outside of the womb.
But what stood out to me as I grieved for my baby was that God created my baby, God knew my baby. Even though I hadn’t gotten to know my baby outside of the 20 weeks spent in my womb, God knew. Although my baby’s life was and will remain hidden from the world, my baby will always be known by God. And God knew the purpose for my baby’s life, even if there didn’t seem to be one. There is comfort in knowing that my baby is known by someone, that someone being God himself.
Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
This is another reminder that God knows us before we know ourselves. That God knows our children before we know them; he knows them even in circumstances when we ourselves didn’t get the chance to know them. God has a specific purpose for all human life, even when that purpose is unclear to us. While I can’t determine the definite purpose for the life of the baby I lost, I know there was one because God does not give life without a purpose behind it.
Isaiah 49:15 “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget; I will not forget you!”
This is another one that at first glance seemed to be a misguided attempt at providing comfort to me. I had no baby at my breast and I would certainly never forget that. While these words initially seemed to heighten my sadness, I did find hope in knowing that God does not forget his creation, his people. If the unthinkable happens like a mother forgetting her child, or in my case a baby dying, God will never forget any of his people. While the world had forgotten, I realized that God would never forget my baby.
Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
God remains close to the woman who is brokenhearted over the loss of her baby. He sees the suffering and sorrow. He is near and longs to provide comfort. He wants us to draw near and express our sorrows to him so that he can provide comfort to us.
Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning, or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
The pain endured in this world is temporary. While the sorrow of losing a baby may indeed last a lifetime on this earth, it will not last forever. There will come a time when there is no more death, and knowing that, I look forward to someday meeting my baby again, when this life on earth is over. There is hope for a better future.
My prayer is that you find these verses to be helpful and that they are heard by the women who need them most; I pray they begin to restore even just an ounce of hope in a loss mom’s broken heart.