We released three balloons this afternoon in honor of Micah’s 3rd birthday in heaven. We wrote a special note to send up to heaven and included a special verse in case someone finds the note before it makes it to heaven. Over the course of time, January 31st has gone from being bitter to bittersweet. And I never thought that would happen. We remember our baby, yet still miss our baby. We watch the wild baby that has joined our family, yet still wonder what Micah’s personality would have been. We talk about babies and death, yet because of death, we celebrate life. We remember our baby and all the other babies who are not here. Each trip to the cemetery leaves me asking God why there are more baby graves since the last time we visited, yet I know that God has not forgotten any of those babies. And he hasn’t forgotten any of us. He loves what he has created, which means he loves all of us. He sees us. He remembers us, for we are his.
And I was reminded of his love when I looked up to watch the balloons sailing into the sky, but instead my eyes were drawn to a bright, shining heart that was underlined with the likes of a rainbow. Gosh, it was so beautiful and I felt God speaking to me through his wonderful creation. I’m not one to really believe in signs from the other side, but I did think that maybe this was God’s way of letting me know that everything is going okay up there. Sometimes I’m just so overwhelmed by how big the smallest of gifts turns out to be. For me to see these images of hope in God’s stunning creation on this particular day let me know that he sees me. And that he loves me.
Life can feel pretty hopeless after experiencing pregnancy loss, so I decided to compile a…31 January, 2018