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Monthly Archives: January 2018

Honoring Micah’s 3rd Birthday in Heaven

We released three balloons this afternoon in honor of Micah’s 3rd birthday in heaven. We wrote a special note to send up to heaven and included a special verse in case someone finds the note before it makes it to heaven. Over the course of time, January 31st…

The Reality of the Unseen

I’m sometimes surprised that my daughter asks about a baby she never knew. “What kinds of things would Micah like to play with?” “How did you know that Micah died?” “Why did Micah die?” These are a few of the questions she has asked recently, and just like…

What’s in a Name?

My previous post described the heartache and disappointment I have felt in not knowing if baby Micah was a boy or a girl. This one missing detail has left me in constant wonder; wondering if Micah was a boy or a girl and why I didn’t get to…

Video: A Visit to the Snowy Cemetery

My previous post about my visit to the cemetery seemed to resonate with so many women out there, so I decided to make it into a short video. For so many moms out there, the cemetery is where their child resides. It might be the only place where they feel…

A Visit to the Snowy Cemetery

I went to visit my baby at the cemetery today and arrived to find the “baby section” still covered in several inches of snow. There were balloons, and flowers, and ribbons sticking out of the snow, and if I hadn’t known better, I might have thought that there…

I Wish I Would Have Known

I wish I would have known to ask. You see, I lost my baby during the 20th week of pregnancy. After delivery, my doctor told me she was unable to determine whether I had given birth to a boy or a girl. She guessed that my baby had died two…

The Empty Chair

Last night as we sat at the dinner table, I noticed the empty chair and wondered why we hadn’t yet brought up the booster seat. My son is old enough to switch from his high chair to a booster, which would save space in the kitchen and allow…

A Due Date and a Birthday

It’s been nearly 3 years since losing baby Micah, and while those darkest days of grief seem to be behind me, my baby’s due date will forever remain bittersweet. I had found out I was pregnant in October of 2014. This had come after an early loss earlier…

The Meant-To-Dos of Motherhood

Today I got caught up. Not on the to-dos or the should-dos, but on the meant-to-dos. The snow fell outside and the roads glazed over in a thick sheet of ice, making the idea of hauling kids around town among car accidents, traffic jams, and closed…

Danger: Explosive Mom

A can of spray paint exploded in our garage this evening, but we didn’t notice there was a problem until after the fumes began to permeate throughout the house, making it difficult to breathe. There’s no telling how long that can sat out there, tension rising…